September 28, 2009

What to expect of me when I return. What I like about Ecuador... And detest.

- I am thin. Skinny? I eat a lot. Don't worry. And I have acne.

- I detest it when people do not follow through on their word. If you need to cancel on me, call as soon as possible. If you will be late, call me as soon as possible.

- PLEASE do not cuss around me. PLEASE do not use coarse or sexual humor. I want to fully eradicate this from my life. PLEASE help me in this when I slip up.

- I have a tan. HAHAHA. I went to four beaches in the last three days. HAHAHA. And I intentionally did not wear much sunscreen. Because I want to return to the mucky Oregon October weather much more tan than you. And, yes, you can easily note my bikini tan line.

What I will miss in Ecuador:

- My amazing friends
- The endless generosity of so many Ecuadorians.
- The amazing beach and sunshine
- Salsa music on the bus. Salsa music in the grocery store. Salsa music anywhere on the street. In taxi cabs. At friend's houses. Salsa music.
- Unimaginably strange, cheap, and amazing fruits
- Walking on the beach and paying $1 for a man to use a machette to open the tip of a coconut, drain the coconut water, hand it to you in a bag with a straw, open the entire coconut, scoop out the meat, and hand it to you in another bag. Nothing beats this.
- $1.75 for juice, soup, rice, banana, and meat. Too much food to eat.
- Eating home-made, fresh food every single day. I believe I ate frozen or prepackaged food less than ten times in the last year. I used to make effort to eat homemade food at least once per week back in the States...
- Canelazo. It is sort of like a hot hard apple cider. But different. And delish!
- Condensed milk on many foods and sweets. Delish as well!

- People here are so easy going. It is obvious to see that Americans are SO easily offended. After spending much time here, I have learned to exist peacefully. I have done many things and tolerated many people and activities I personally have not wanted to do, but was not agitated as I once would have been in the States. I am not looking forward to returning to the crabby Americans that you have to tip-toe around to be certain you will not deeply offend or hurt. If you are reading this blog, you are probably one of the people I am referring to. No offense. :)

- Regular, reliable bus system for $0.25
- Running across freeways. I really enjoy that.
- Internet cafés readily available
- Breathing the moist, warm sea air
- No road rules
- Everyone with gorgeous nutty chocolate brown eyes. I hope to marry someone with such eyes. I believe it will be quite startling to walk down a street and go to church and be in public places and note more than 1% of the population does not have dark hair and dark skin and is an entire headlength shorter than you.
- Not living with mirrors
- Having zero responsibilities, obligations, and schedule. Amazing. I have not been this free since before Kinder garden.
- So little responsibility that I feel free to keep my house meticulous, hand wash the dishes, and complete daily chores without complaint

What I will not miss in Ecuador:

- Watching men piss on walls.
- All of the microscopic ants that infest my bathroom garbage can. We don't flush toilet paper. Which means that they eat my poop and then walk around in my house. Yum.
- The volumes of rotting garbage on the sides of the roads.
- Crass men whistling, hissing, yelling, "I love you baby," "Whasss you name?" "Hello," etc.
- Seeing shiny things on the ground and thinking they are coins. They are beer caps. When I return home, they will be Susan Bs.

- Trying to pay for a cab or recharge my phone with a $5 bill and being told they do not have change. Good grief! (Ecuadorians are not the brightest businessmen.)
- Manjar. It is basically a really awful concept of caramel. When I return I will buy caramel in bulk from Winco and will buy caramel apples. Yum.
- Wheat / grain bread. It is always bitter, icky, and has a bad aftertaste. Can you say Great Harvest Dakota or 9-grain??? Yum.
- Bathrooms not even having a knob for hot water. Cold showers suck.
- Obscene amounts of smog pouring out of busses.
- Car alarms. Car alarms. Car alarms.
- No road rules.

- Horrible fashion sense. No one seems to realize or care that they are 10-15 years behind the rest of the world. But this does, in a sense, make them less vain. They even have a brand of jeans for women called Bottoms Up! Disgusting. I don't want to see rolls of fat splurging over one's jeans, nor every lump on one's thighs. Yuck. At least the men comb their hair.
- Constantly worrying that someone will attack you. Not wearing earrings on the bus or marketplace for fear of appearing "rich." Impossibility to bring my camera into many public places.
- Frequent, consistent buses. $0.25. Cheap, but dangerous. Don't ever pull out your cell phone, wear earrings, etc.
- Half of the keyboards are English. Half are Spanish. And the computer may be set to input the keyboard in the opposite language. Meaning the " symbol is Shift + 2 or is Shift + the key by your pinkie finger. And your : is either your pinkie finger or somewhere else on the keyboard, interchangeable with the ñ key. It will be lovely to have one keyboard and not constantly look down for symbols as I type. (Assuming the keyboard input is equal to the symbols on the keys.) Hrummmph.


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